How attached to outcomes are you?

Recently I have been very attached to some outcomes and its been limiting me. I have been running a series of courses, which I had designed and planned and then executed. I had a clear idea of how I thought they should be set up, how many participants I wanted and how the 3 modules would run.

As it turned out events conspired to challenge me on this somewhat. Because they are quite in depth courses I wanted no more than 8 participants and I wanted various groups to stay with each other through out the programme and not move groups. In the event I got 12 on one event and 5 on another and often different people juggled around onto the modules they could get on and didn’t stay consistently with their starting group.

I was convinced it would be a disaster and adversely affect the quality of the course.

And do you know what?

It did change the course but not for better or for worse. It was just simply different. 

The bigger group numbers created a breadth of exploration and understanding and the smaller group sizes meant we went deeper into areas of interest. The people swapping groups simply added the dimension of a new perspective and all involved enjoyed the different mix of people.

These were just 2 changes of many to my ‘plan’ and as Field marshal Von Moltke said “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy”.

So I began to look at my attachment to certain outcomes, I’d find myself saying “It should be like this…” or “This is how it needs to be…” and things invariably don't turn out how I ‘wanted them’. But that has been OK - in fact its been more than OK, its been great because the new outcome has been … well, different.

Now, I set out my thoughts about something and then say to myself “And maybe things will change and that’s OK”. I go into things with far less need to know how they will turn out.

My attachment to the outcome was causing me stress and worry and when I let go of that need for certainty all sorts of creative alternatives arose, often which I never expected. Now I’m not saying don’t plan and have objectives but hold them lightly and be prepared to change them. In fact, set them up with the intention of changing them and notice the outcomes are not better or worse, just different.

So, what out comes are you attached to?

What could you let go of?

How would it be to set things in motion without knowing where they will end up?

Piers Carter

When did you last fail?

If you're not failing, you're not learning. Words from Derek Sivers and featured on his video below. It's quite a striking thought really, the idea that everything is only and experiment and the greatest folks in any walk of life have failed so many times it has made them great.

Hard when you have a reputation to uphold and an image to protect but what would it be like to let go of the need to protect that image, to be free of the pressure of maintaining a reputation? 

The milestone for me came when I let go of the need or desire for certain outcomes. When I stopped prescribing how or what I thought the outcome should be and accepted whatever it was as just different - not better or worse, just different.

Watch his video and let me know your thoughts.

When did you last fail?

Piers Carter

Do you need a pep talk?

I've changed the video bar on the side of my blog and there is a selection from the next internet sensation, Kid President. Check him out especially his pep talk which I've put in below. Wise words from one so young - he's only 9.

Piers Carter

When did you last spend time with your mentor?

We met up half way between where we both live and went for a walk, which in itself was very theraputic. Walk & talk, try it.
As with all great mentors, he allowed me to get stuff off my chest, to whinge and moan a bit, and he offered his perspective and didn't judge me.
I was going on about a couple of things, firstly the challenging economic situation and difficulty generating work. He recounted stories about times in the past when he was trying to sell in previous resessions and the emotions he felt, it made me feel it was ok to feel the way I was feeling. He also said I'd look back on these times and realise I'd done pretty well staying optimistic and cracking on with new ideas and energy.
I also moaned about some of the types of jobs I'd found myself doing as if they were in some way not as rewarding as other types and he suggested it was more the philosophy I took to work with me than the work I was doing that mattered and that to do the best job I could whatever I was doing was the frame of mind with which to approach things. I liked that.
Finally, he reminded me that, really, happiness is described best in an old Chinese proverb, what we all need is;

• Someone to love
• Something to do
• Something to dream about 

I'm lucky, I've got all three. So I just wanted to say to my mentor, if you are reading this;
"Thanks Dad."

And ask you dear reader, when did you last spend time with your mentor?

Piers Carter
Coach & facilitator

What Happened to you this Week?

I've blogged before about an amazing woman, Sarah Outen. she is on a masssive round the world expedition by bike, kayak and rowing boat. Last week there were some developments resulting in her being picked up by the Japanese coast guard - not a decision she will have taken lightly. As I undretsand it 400 miles into the pacific ocean row she was hit by a storm of a severity she and her team did not expect. After being rolled something like 30 times in her tiny craft the boat sutained damage which meant she needed to be picked up and taken back to japan.
Thankfully she is safe and well and recovering with friends. Its worth reading more about Sarah and her adventure which I suspect is still not over knowing how tenacious she is. Check out http://www.sarahouten.com/blog/

Whilst you were on a normal week, maybe half term with the kids, maybe at work or school or collage think about what Sarah was going through. Amazing. Good luck Sarah whatever comes your way next and with whatever choices you make.

Ever Onwards

Piers

Is this all you need to know about leadership?

What's the secret of great leadership?
Apologies readers, I'm writing this on my iPhone at St Pancras after a very stimulating day. I've met some amazing guys at Motherlode Studioes. They've made a very cool film called The Four Horsemen - an tough documentary about our financial crisis and the systemic problems we have created for ourselves. I urge you to google it, find out about it and look out for a local screening. I've met a very senior police officer here in the city of London police and I've spent a morning at an amazing youth charity called Street League - changing lives through football.
What a day!
I'm increasingly coming to the conclusion that the techniques put forward in our modern leadership literature is only a part of the story. Really all you need to be an amazing leader is this;
Notice it
Step up
Carry on

That's what these amazing people I've met today, and others recently, have done. They've seen something that annoys them, they've had the guts to jump and they have grafted until it improves. And that's it.

Passion - performance- purpose.

All the techniques about skills and behaviour pale into insignificance in the face of a bloody minded desire to put something right, deal with an injustice, correct a corrupt system whatever it is, the great leaders have got off their backsides and done something.

So, just my top line thoughts on my day. There probably is more to leadership that the above but it's not a bad start and there are plenty of people doing a brilliant job of their little part of the world simply with some passion to do something about a problem and a bit of hard work.

Piers Carter

What is your context?

And more to the point, what does context mean and what has it got to do with leadership?

Context is the tone, the environment, the meaning behind the activity in a team or organisation and I think the leader’s job is to set the context.

If I ask you, what are the big leadership challenges you are facing at the moment what would you say.......?

·       Company merger?

·       Change initiative?

·       Large sales programme?

·       Implementation of a new IT system?

·       Organisational CSR initiative?

If I now ask you, as a community/town/city/country, what are the big leadership challenges you/we are facing.......?

·       Health care?

·       Economic crisis?

·       Education?

·       Employment?

·       Wealth gap?

Now, as a planet, as a wider community of humans, what are the big leadership challenges we are facing and going to face in the next 10, 20 even 50 years....?

·       Climate change?

·       Peak oil?

·       World water shortage?

·       Population explosion?

·       Food shortages?

·       Fuel shortages?

And what are you leading within all this?

Since this is my blog here is my perspective, we MUST lead any and everything we are doing within the context of the final list above, the big planet based stuff. And for me this is us leading with ‘sustainable development’ in mind all the time. It is the only possible viable solution. We need to lead everything we do with 3 things in mind all on the theme of profit. Profit is an enabler, more than that it is essential. But profit in 3 key areas;

·       Social profit

·       Environmental profit

·       Financial profit

Once you are interrogating all your decisions as a leader in the context of these 3 bottom lines then maybe, just maybe, we might be making more moves towards a better planet and, let’s face it, it is the only one we’ve got.

So, you have permission to make profit and the more profit you make the more good you can do; and within that try to make a social profit and an environmental profit.

That’s my context, my triple bottom line and I’m clear that all I do operates within that context ... what’s your context?

Piers Carter

Facilitation, coaching & leadership